


Broken Dreams

by DGCatAniSiri



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: M/M, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-25
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-09 08:11:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5532128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DGCatAniSiri/pseuds/DGCatAniSiri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It could have happened like this...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Dreams

It could have happened like this. That night at the PCH Bridge, instead of Felix getting stabbed, it was Hector. The racial tensions in Neptune still rose as his supposed murderer was able to walk freely, but Weevil still had his right hand and best friend.

It could have happened like this. The Fitzpatricks were never going to accept Molly Fitzpatrick fucking one of the PCH gang, and the Toombs family would have flipped their lids if they learned Felix was sticking it to a member of the same family who’d killed his brother. The Romeo and Juliet thing might’ve been nice to think about, but by the start of senior year, they’d both come to their senses and recognize that taking a page out of a couple who ended up dead in the end’s playbook was not the best of plans. It was amicable, at least, which meant she wouldn’t send her brothers after him. In private, Felix told Weevil about it. Weevil laughed at the thought, but found he was happy. Not about Felix having his heart broken by this girl, because amicable and equally decided upon or not, Felix had cared about her and now she wasn’t in his life, but because Felix deserved a long and happy life, one he’d never get if he got tangled up in the web of the Fitzpatricks.

It could have happened like this. Thumper made his move, ousting Weevil from his own gang. But Felix stood by him. Felix was the one person in the gang who knew what the PCH was for Weevil, and believed in it just as much as he did. It wasn’t a gang, it was a family, a place for these guys who Neptune at large looked down upon, a place they could celebrate themselves, rather than try and be who the 09ers were. It wasn’t about money or power. It was about belonging. And now they were both exiles. Pariahs. But at least they had each other. They could belong with each other.

It could have happened like this. Weevil and Felix had gotten the help of Veronica and Logan to get the Fitzpatricks to turn on Thumper. Veronica had helped Weevil too many times to not let herself get involved, even if she protested, and Logan was pissed about the frame job Thumper had done, nearly getting him tossed in jail, even with all his rich white boy connections. They knew the Fitzpatricks would arrange for Thumper’s death when they figured he was cheating them – drug dealers can be so picky that way, and tying up Thumper in the Shark Stadium right before it got detonated seemed a perfect scenario for murder, since if the explosives didn’t roast him, several tons of rubble ought to make identification a real bitch. Weevil and Felix watched it on the tiny TV in Weevil’s grandmother’s living room and, somberly, both considering murder, even indirectly, a difficult line to cross, but aware that there would have been no justice for Hector otherwise, they had a silent toast in memory of their fallen brother’s spirit being laid to rest.

It could have happened like this. In their private celebration about it, their own memorial for Hector, happy that, even if they’d lost their family in the PCH, they’d managed to get back at Thumper for killing one of their own, loaded up on beer, making exaggerated declarations of love to each other, they kissed. Neither would say who initiated it, but Felix wouldn’t deny his hands coming up to hold Weevil’s face, and Weevil wouldn’t deny that he’d pulled Felix close enough that he could have climbed into Weevil’s lap. But they still didn’t talk about it when they could claim they’d sobered up.

It could have happened like this. They both turned down the chance to rejoin the PCH after getting the Fitzpatricks to let them go. Although they had viewed it as their family, that family had turned its back on them. It no longer deserved their loyalty. And as they walked away, Felix stopped Weevil. There was a moment of silence, both of them looking around and seeing that they were alone, the PCHers having let them go without trying to change their minds. When they were sure there was no one but the two of them, they’d kissed again.

It could have happened like this. Lamb had pulled them both out of the graduation ceremony. Bastard wouldn’t even let Weevil cross the stage. While there was evidence that linked them to Thumper’s murder, their lawyer managed to get the charges down – Thumper was a criminal and had no one to mourn him. Given the Neptune police’s attitude, that was more than enough to really not care about the cause of justice. They got a reduced sentence and community service, and their parole officer had no real complaints about them living together. The parole officer was probably expecting them to give him cause to toss them back into jail anyway. But both were actually committing to, ironically, going straight, if only because they wouldn’t have the PCH waiting for them. What else was there for them except each other?

It could have happened like this. Inevitably, they started trying to find a name for it. The attitude in the PCH had been mostly a matter of fuck who you want, but there was still an expectation that eventually you’d go out, knock up a girl, do the right thing and marry her, blah blah blah. The idea of ‘being boyfriends’ was basically putting a target sign on your back. Many of those in the neighborhood had some old school strict Catholics somewhere in the family, the kind who called it sin that would deliver them straight to hell, but then, the PCH had committed at least four or five sins in general before they’d eaten breakfast. But it was still a question that made it awkward. The problem was that they hadn’t started with the naked stuff. If they’d only been fucking, that would have made it easier to say it was just a matter of circumstance, that they just needed an outlet and the other was better than their own hand. But they’d started with things that they really could only call romantic – the kissing, the touching, the togetherness. It was easier not to talk about what they were, just keeping up what they were doing and not thinking about anyone else’s reactions.

It could have happened like this. The naked stuff started happening. It had been Weevil who’d started pulling at Felix’s clothes one night on the couch, in the midst of a passionate series of kisses. Why he’d felt compelled to start trying to take that step, he couldn’t say exactly, just that it had felt like the thing to do. Felix had hesitated, surprised – he’d seen Weevil as more reluctant to do anything, even though he couldn’t remember who’d kissed who first. And then, as Weevil’s hand trailed down his bare chest, he’d whispered the word that made it all the more real. “Eli...” Weevil had just gotten them naked faster. As their hands and breathing sped up, the name became a chant, a prayer, and, so far as Weevil was concerned, the only sound of importance. He met it with kisses and whispers of “Felix.”

It could have happened like this. The first time that they actually did something more than just being naked, wrapping their hands around one another, it was Felix dropping to his knees. Weevil, lying on his back on the bed, had dug the fingers of one hand into Felix’s hair, wrapped the other around one of Felix’s that had snaked up his body to play with a nipple. When Weevil could open his eyes, he found he met Felix’s own, and nothing needed to be said. At least, nothing but “my turn.”

It could have happened like this. Felix said it first. They’d been living together for about six months, Weevil working at Hearst and Felix at a mechanic’s. Weevil had been at work on long hours, trying to make a good impression on the new dean, having been concerned that a new administration would want to get rid of the Mexican with a criminal record, trying to prove his worth to them as much as himself. Felix had gotten out early and actually set up a romantic dinner, actually made from scratch. It turned out that he had a talent in the kitchen, not that he would have ever admitted that before. He even added a number of candles, taking his cues from sappy romantic movies. When Weevil came home, he tried to keep his game face on, try and be the tough guy. But he couldn’t help but be touched by Felix doing all this. When Felix said the words, Weevil’s mouth was half full and in mid-chew. It had spilled out, and Felix looked away almost immediately, embarrassed it had come out like that. Weevil had swallowed, took Felix’s hand, and said it back. They only barely remembered to put the dessert Felix had prepared in the fridge as they made their way to the bedroom, pulling clothes off in the process.

It could have happened like this. Felix’s family surprised them both. His family had seen the changes that being with Weevil – the together kind of ‘with’ - had brought about. Felix had become a productive member of society, they said, and it was because he had an influence like Weevil in his life. He had something to live for that wasn’t just spitting in the face of the 09ers and those like them. They were surprised he was with another man, but swore that they’d both always have a place in the Toombs residence. Felix had kissed him at the dinner table, and, despite acting embarrassed at the blatant affection and how it put his ‘manly rep’ in jeopardy, Weevil was just as happy as Felix in that moment, feeling the open acceptance of them.

It could have happened like this. It wasn’t always happy. Weevil’s grandmother had developed cancer that last year at Neptune High. Much as she tried to fight it, she succumbed about a year later. Weevil wanted to step up to the plate and take care of his nieces and nephews, the ones who’d been more or less in her care. But they were two nineteen year olds with criminal records and no more than a high school education, even without them being two men (even in California, things only went so far). Legally, they were in no position to offer them a stable home. All they even had to live in was a one-bedroom apartment – Letty Navarro’s house still had outstanding payments on it, payments that their combined paychecks would have only barely covered, leaving a pittance for any of the amenities, like food or water, which couldn’t ever stretch enough to cover growing kids. It had been Felix who’d realized this first. Weevil accused him of giving up on his family, and Felix had walked out, going back to his family’s place. They told him to give Weevil time, time to grieve, time to accept. They were right. When Weevil showed up on the doorstep, about a week later, Felix knew that he’d come around. Much as Weevil wanted it to be otherwise, he knew better.

It could have happened like this. Even with the bumps in the road, Weevil and Felix made every effort to keep their heads above water. Weevil kept in touch with his nieces and nephews as much as he could – the foster system couldn’t deny him that, at least. Although their jobs didn’t pay much, they managed to climb up enough rungs on the ladders at their respective jobs, and they saved up enough money that they could start taking night classes, alternating semesters between them, Weevil going in one semester, Felix in the other, so that they weren’t going to upset their work schedules too much too often and have to choose between school and a paycheck, showing actual fiscal responsibility, probably much to the surprise of Mister Wu back at Neptune High. They weren’t really the schooling type, but they also wanted to be in a better position – the talk with Cliff that they’d had in their brief attempt at trying to get custody had made it clear that they’d stand a better chance of adopting children if they had higher education. And both of them wanted it.

It could have happened like this. Weevil was the deputy head of Hearst’s janitorial staff, though he had also started picking up some hours at the same mechanic’s shop that Felix worked at. The owner there liked Felix, and Felix was thinking he might be starting to groom him for taking over the shop. They’d talked about it – owning a business like that would have a similar effect to what the PCH had once been, a home for some of Neptune’s forgotten. It was they kind of thing they could both come to find themselves happy about. It was a place of stability, a real home. And where the PCH had been for the kids looking for a place, they both saw a business as a way to offer others like them a second chance, a place where they wouldn’t have the weight of any shadiness in their past hanging over them. After all, murder-dropped-to-assault charges meant that they weren’t in any kind of position to judge. They could give people that second chance, because they’d found one with each other.

It could have happened like this. It had to be stupid teenagers. Sheltered assholes who could only accept what little was already in their bubble and no more. It didn’t matter though. Felix had been attacked. Weevil fought tooth and nail, calling on Cliff McCormack and Keith Mars to get him through the hospital red tape that would have kept him out because they had no legal tie to one another, despite having lived together for closing in on a decade. He’d almost placed a call to Veronica, now at Stanford and unable to help, just because he knew how much she’d helped in the past. Weevil had a flashback to the days of high school, when the PCH had duct taped people to the flagpole, writing on their chests. He was positive that whoever’d done this to Felix would have carved ‘fag’ on him if they’d had the chance – Weevil doubted that Felix had been attacked by chance or because of his skin, though he only had his suspicions, no proof. Wasn’t it time for people to get over this?

It could have happened like this. It was when Felix was released that Weevil proposed. Prop 8 had been struck down, and the Supreme Court was going to rule on it nationwide soon, it was just a matter of time. Felix questioned if Weevil was doing it in reaction to what had happened. Weevil couldn’t argue, but knew that it was what he wanted. Felix brought out the best in him. The both of them did that for each other, had for years. And after this, Weevil didn’t want to ever let either of them be unable to get to each other in case of an emergency. Maybe not the most romantic proposals in act, but Felix couldn’t do anything but say yes.

It could have happened like this. Javier Navarro-Toombs, their adopted son. Times had changed. Weevil had joined the mechanic’s shop full time, and they were even saving up the money to move into an almost suburban lifestyle, get themselves a house that might even have a white picket fence, rather than living in a two bedroom apartment. Weevil had suggested getting a dog, maybe a pit bull. Felix had responded by whacking him with a pillow.

It could have happened like this. After the ten year reunion, when Celeste Kane had shot Weevil, claiming he’d attempted to carjack her, Felix had known it was nothing but bull. But tensions had been all too high between the white and Latino communities in Neptune as of late, and they both knew fighting it was pointless, because all a white woman had to do was point her finger at a brown guy and the white people were ready to circle the wagons. Under the circumstances, with the pressure from the media scrutiny, the shop had to let Weevil go, even with Felix going to bat for him. Felix wanted to resign in protest, but Weevil talked him out of it, for their son’s sake if nothing else. They’d figure something out. They always had. 

It could have happened like this. With the lawsuit against the Neptune police for their racial profiling resolved, Felix lobbied for Weevil to get his job back – the charges had been bullshit in the first place and had since been withdrawn in the wake of the bad publicity for the police. It wasn’t long before the owner signed the place over to Felix and Weevil outright, having recognized that they were some of the best he had anyway. Felix seemed to settle in to the near-suburban life. Weevil had his issues. He pretended he hadn’t joined up with a new group of bikers, Felix pretended he didn’t know, and that he didn’t want to join him.

It could have happened like this. Despite the shop being successful, despite the bikers, Weevil’s new friends, it was Weevil who suggested getting out of Neptune. He’d seen the conflict on his husband’s face, knowing that he wanted to stop Weevil going out for their son’s sake just as much as he wanted to get out there on a bike and ride with them. But Weevil had joined up first, and one of them had to take care of Javi, had to be a good father. Felix had done that, had stepped up to the plate as Weevil gave in to that desire. And he’d done it knowing how easily it could lead to him having to choose between his son and the man he loved. So Weevil offered him an out. They could leave Neptune, head somewhere else. Maybe somewhere else in California, maybe across the country. Where didn’t matter so much as Weevil recognizing that their life together wasn’t going to hold together if something didn’t change. They could get away from Neptune and all its problems once and for all. So long as they did it, that they were together, they could be happy. And that was what mattered.

It could have happened like this. 

But it didn’t.

What did happen was this. After a couple of years at Hearst, feeling the weight of being in a dead-end job, Weevil quit his janitorial gig. He bounced around for a while, yet managed to stay on the right side of the law. Even managed to help out Mars Investigations on occasion, do a few favors for Keith Mars in the name of paying the family back for all the help they’d given him. With help from a few recommendations from Keith Mars and a handful of the people who trusted his word implicitly, he found that there were some better job opportunities that were available for him. Weevil pulled his life together enough that when he meet Jade, he wasn’t some former criminal looking to score with a woman out of his league, but was someone who could offer her a life and happiness. He loved Jade, and together, they had a daughter, Valentina. He loved her dearly as well. He wouldn’t trade either of them for the world. He’d found happiness. At night, though, when he thought about what could have been, he always felt a pang of regret that his best friend, his brother in all but blood, hadn’t lived to find his own happiness.

And he didn’t even wonder if that happiness could have been tied up in his.


End file.
